Social Disorders

Before I start let me be honest and say I have no formal education in social work and everything I have learnt I taken from the many books I read and experiences I have had throughout my life, in particular since working with children with 'social disorders'. There are people who read this who are far more qualified than I am and have years of experience dealing with children who have ADHD, asperges etc..and I don't think I have met anyone with a severe case of any social disorder.

My Dad my idol

I honestly believe ALMOST all social disorders are misdiagnosed.  I listen to children everyday and try do it with an open mind. My priority is the well being of the child I am with. I am not judgemental and will listen far more than I talk.  Like you and me most people are affected by our peers and the manner in which we were brought up.  I was brought up by my father, everything he was I wanted to be. I knew he loved me and wouldn't see any harm come to me so he was my hero. I wanted to be my dad when I grew up and to a large extent I have been. Like him I have been a boxer, lorry driver, bouncer etc... I share many of his views, whether they are right or wrong to others,  and I am proud to do so.

ADHD?

I believe we all have social disorders at varying degrees (or as I prefer to call them, differing personalities) Some people won't go to a place that is to crowded whilst others won't go to a place that's to quiet.  I know a lad who won't go out with a girl if she has a visible mole. Bit strange to me but when does a different personality become a disorder.

So. Behavioural Disorders. When do we decide that a child has Attention Deficit Disorder (A.D.D.) I look at this disorder ask myself , Attention deficit? or Can't Concentrate Disorder? Now why could this be?  I had this as a child, but at the time my school report said "David  daydreams in class" or "David is easily distracted"  This was true. I had no interest in the subject matter so thought about other things that were more interesting like girls, football and boxing. I had most ADD in classes I found less interesting.  Seeing myself as a non academic made me focus more on sport so I was pretty good at that and was encouraged to do more of it. I also knew children who couldn't concentrate and disrupted the class by being naughty. they would be fidgety and keep talking whilst everybody else was trying to work. They would be telling jokes or taking the Micky out of the teacher or teasing other children. I now know these weren't naughty boys and girls, oh no, no way!   They had a different disorder. They had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) They were hyperactive, or as I see it IN NEED OF ATTENTION!!!.

Again this is only my uneducated opinion, but I have found in my experience if we are not feeling significant we will find a way to feel significant.If we can't be significant for being good we will find another way, or we build up a barrier so no one can hurt us.  A child will misbehave at my gym and blame it on a disorder. My reaction is to make him sit out of the class or just tell him or her they don't have a disorder and get on with it. This may seem harsh but it works for me.  I will talk to the child later and in fact the child will more often than not come and apologise and explain their action.  I will discuss the issue at length in an attempt to convince the child there is nothing wrong with them because if you think something is wrong with you then something is, especially if you have been told sooooo many times

Asperges?

Asperges  is a developmental disorder that affects a child's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others.I have less experience with people with asperges but I find it equally challenging and feel I have made significant progress when I have come across it, as again these people need to feel significant and more often than not have an interesting childhood.

As with most social disorders I feel the biggest influence is upbringing or as people like to say nurture rather than nature.  This is NOT as you might imagine pointing the finger of blame at parents  teachers or anyone else.  It is just the way society has progressed.  Discipline is almost forbidden. Gone are the days of when if you were naughty and punished at school that you would be punished again at home.  Teachers are now in more danger from parents than children are.  In my uneducated opinion children need boundaries and once these boundaries are taken away the problems begin.  Single parents must be close to outnumbering children with both parents at home. Whilst most single parents cope many relax the 'boundaries' to make up for not providing  another parent.

These are my opinions and I am not saying they are correct and I welcome opinions of those who do not necessarily agree with the way I see things. I want to understand more so I can help more people.