IS WINNING THE ARGUMENT MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FINAL RESULT?

COULD READING THIS BLOG CHANGE YOUR VIEWS ?

It's OK to fight if what you are fighting for is the good and not just to win the fight.  We watch needless arguments happen all of the time. I have, as a doorman, have seen best friends fight over a cigarette.  We all have it in us to get angry and I am sure that whilst we are fighting we feel justified in what we are fighting for.  But:

• How many of us have regrets over things we have said or done to people we love once the fight is over.  
• How many people hold grudges with their loved ones for years and years and how many people are hurt as result of this one grudge?  
• How many people will have been to a former friends funeral and wished they had put things right when they had the opportunity? 

Attack on the Twin Towers

This blog is about exploring the avenues before we say something we shouldn't and wrecking what should have been a great and perhaps beautiful friendship..
I just watched a DVD of peoples reaction, who were at a seminar to the Twin Towers disaster in New York. The seminar was taking place on a remote island and was for the benefit of success people who wanted take their lives and their businesses to the next level.  The people attending the seminar were from all over the world with differing backgrounds and beliefs.


Whilst the people were attending the seminar on this idyllic island the two planes crashed into the Twin Towers.  Some people in attending the seminar were New Yorkers.

• One man at the seminar was Muslim and his first reaction was I am going to be branded as a terrorist because I am a Muslim, and then thought that he would like to be at the Twin Towers helping the sufferers, but his other real reaction was this is retribution, payback for all the 'West' had done to his people over the years. Reminding the people there of how many thousands of innocent people died in Iraq in what turned out to be a fight about oil and how the war had nothing to do with weapons of mass destruction.    

• One lady explained how she had left a message for the man she loved saying she would marry him.  She had been married before but her first husband had died and until now she was not ready to commit again. Her fiancée read the message whilst he was on the 101st floor of the world trade centre and he then called her to say (Whist she was at the Seminar) he was on the 101st floor and an aeroplane had crashed into the building, the room was filling with smoke and he was about to die.  He said he was the happiest man in the world knowing that she loved him and wanted to marry him.  The message from her was that you have to live in the present and not to let the past drag you back like a ball and chain. 

What happened next in the room was amazing. Tony Robbins managed to unite all the people in the room and somehow made them see that, rather than blaming each other they should use this experience to make themselves better  and more understanding people.  The instrument Tony Robbins used to bond people who were sworn enemies, was words.

He explained that we all have 'archetypes' I guess that means behaviours that define us as people.  There are 4 archetypes:

WARRIOR - Strength Power Action.  This is what we call upon first.  This is the most intense archetype.This is what demands action.  Some people live in this state more than other states and this can become exhausting, but used positively can unite nations.

MAGICIAN - Creativity Humour and Intuition.  The magician in us  detaches and observes and can make light of a situation. The magician sees the invisible and sees things that other people get upset about as absurd and meaningless. The magician knows everything is easy

LOVER - Deep emotion of love and connection.  This is true love and how you connect and vibrate with life.  This love is unconditional and pure.

• SOVERERIEGN- Knows your vision and person. A sovereign knows not to overreact. the sovereign is the tutor. You can think of a Sovereign as a great King or Queen.  Some one who sees all and is full of wisdom and knowledge 

If you can see the Warrior, the Magician, the Lover and the Sovereign inside yourself you can use them to help you and those around you when life becomes 'complicated'.  Take a moment when you feel the Warrior taking centre stage and ask yourself "is this the only way to resolve this situation".

At my gym I have mostly young people and many of these youths live in the Warrior state for most of the time and react to everything as a challenge and something they need to act upon.  Occasionally we have confrontations where warriors clash.  Sometimes it will end up with raised voices and then a falling out and a cooling off period, but a lot of the time I can normally use the Magician the Lover and The Sovereign in me to resolve the situation.

All my blogs are written for a reason.  I hope that this blog helps at least one person pick up the phone resolve a grudge they have been holding for years, or makes someone think before they ruin a friendship or divide a family. 

One love