I have no money, my business is struggling and I crashed my car into a steel post last night, possibly righting it off, But I am happy?

For the two years my sister Maxine battled against cancer during those 2 years I grieved almost everyday.  Maxine was the glue that was holding the family together. I have a close loving family but as we got older we all moved away from Coventry and spent less time in each others company.  Maxine was lived near Barnsley in Yorkshire more than 100 miles from any of us, but regularly had parties and invited us all up to her home.  Shortly before she passed away she invited us all to join her at Centre Parcs in Nottingham as she defiantly refused to follow doctors orders who said she should stay at home. By the time we arrived at Centre Parcs Maxine had once again been taken to hospital but insisted everybody carry on with their holiday. I visited the hospital each day we were up there and eventually Maxine did recover enough to leave hospital after the holiday was finished 

There was no happy ending.  After finally finding happiness, meeting and marrying the man she loved, Richard, and adopting a child after years of trying to conceive naturally and living in 44 acres of land in the beautiful Yorkshire countryside  Maxine succumbed to cancer in September of 2009 aged 45.

Maxine learnt to live for the moment and make the most of her life.  I was angry with the situation and asked myself the usual question why couldn't it happen to some nasty bastard.  Maxine didn't deserve this. I allowed her illness to take over my thoughts every hour of the day every day of the week. I almost let it cost me my business and went as far as going to the toilet for secret cries during my classes. People told me this was understandable. I disagree.  Imagine what Maxine would have felt if she knew the affect she was having on my life. 

So what did I learn from this?  Firstly life is precious and can be taken away in the blink of an eye and  possessions are just possessions. Some things can never be replaced so make the most of what and who you love whilst you can.  I crashed my car into a post yesterday, no one got hurt but it will cost me £250 excess to have it fixed. If I can't afford it I will have to walk. No problem need to lose weight anyway.

Each day we complain through the power of facebook letting the world know how unfair life is to us.  Life is unfair who said it was meant to be fair? We put it on our statuses and discus the injustices of life.  Why not accept life isn't fair for any of us. Then maybe instead of feeling sorry for ourselves we will have more compassion for others?

I think I lost the point of this blog a little while back, that's emotions for you.  But I am happy.

• I am happy to have had such a lovely sister and I have 5 more :0)  
• I am happy that although things are not always fair that I don't let them drag me down
• I am happy to have a great family a loving partner and great kids
• I am happy to have my own business even though it can seem a constant battle
• I am happy that although I have very little money to pay bills, I have love and respect of those closest to me