Pleasure can be a pain

I meet and talk to people of all ages every day of the week. A few weeks ago I was talking to a man who writes the obituaries a National Newspaper 'The Guardian', yesterday I was talking to a man who writes the scripts for the TV show Casualty. Today I was talking to a retired school teacher and I speak often to a young man who was a heroin addict but is now sorting his life out but I am also talking to drug addicts who are struggling to see how their lives will ever improve and I talk to children with ADHD and Asperges and chat in the precinct to students whom I have met at Frank Wise School. I will sit down for my morning coffee at Cafe Nero to read a book in the hope that I can learn something that will help me understand peoples lives and give me an idea of how I can make a difference, how I can help or sometimes just to find out how the minds of world leaders such as Ghandi, Barak Obama, Winston Churchill or Nelson Mandela work and imagine I can make a difference just like they have I will also read books about leaders like Genghis Khan and Adolph Hitler to see how there minds work.. Maybe I am just looking for something to make my life more fulfilled?

I haven't always wanted to make a difference. When I was young it was all about me. I wanted to be a world champion, I wanted fast cars, a big house, all the things I see youngsters craving for now. I won Championships in boxing and kick boxing and fought in Europe and the USA. The most important person in the world was me but I was never really happy.

I always wanted something more and I do think it is what most people want, and if I am honest I still want a nice car, a big house, holidays every year. Most people I know have these things so why shouldn't I? But now these things are not so important. Although I am writing about them now, I never talk of my achievements on the street and rarely at my gym because they are not important. Don't get me wrong, I am more than happy to talk about my achievements if people ask but I don't volunteer the information. There are so many people who have achieved far more than me and they are less happy than I am. Frank Bruno was a World Champion who slipped into a well publicised depression depression as was Mike Tyson. They were rich but never found happiness through having money. All the money in the world won't buy you happiness but money is what everybody chases. We all think winning the lottery is the answer but it has caused resentment and has divided families. On the whole I think too money causes resentment.

Pleasure and Happiness

We all want to be happy. But sometimes we seek pleasure instead of happiness. I like to think that pleasure is short lived whilst happiness is something we carry with through our lives.

Pleasure can come in many forms; We take pleasure from eating, SEX, buying a new car, going on holiday, winning a boxing match was a pleasure. Even destructive actions can be pleasurable: getting drunk, putting a bet on the winning horse in the Grand National, the relief you feel when you take the first drag of a cigarette, the rush you get from a cocaine hit, even when I have seen a man kick his friend in the head in a drunken argument must have given pleasure as his foot landed even if he did feel bad about it when he sobered up.

I write these blogs because I know from the comments I get that many people can relate to what I am saying having been through similar circumstances. I like many people who are reading this have been a victim of destructive pleasure and I see it many times in people on a daily basis.

How many of us have friends and families we have seen struggle through life and not been able to stop their destructive habits eat away at their happiness. Worse still, how many of us encourage the destructive behavior On the other side how many people have destructive habits and can see how much it is hurting the people closest to them? and how many don't realize or care enough about themselves to be bothered. My mother asked why, if alcoholism is a disease why can't they just cut it out, she clearly hated being an alcoholic. My mother died at 44 years old

Pleasures are great and a big part of our happiness. But I am learning to understand long lasting happiness is far better than short lived destructive pleasures. I am happier now knowing this but frustrated because there are people I care about who seem to be on self destruct and it breaks my heart.

To be continued........