Live your dream don't just think about living it

Looking forward to the seminar

So much has happened since my last blog that I feel I am getting near to writing an interesting life story. I read a book called 'Awaken The Giant Within' and I am also listening to Anthony Robbins audio compilation through my computer.  Having read and listened to his tapes for the last couple of years I have now decided to write a journal and actually follow some of his exercises.

One such exercise is a goal setting exercise where I was asked to write down as many personal development goals as I could in 6 minutes and to do this as fast as I could.  I was also asked to imagine I was a child on Santa's knee and let my imagination run wild. I was also instructed to write down as many 'thing' goals as I could in 2 minutes and to have no limitations. I could ask to own anything from a house in the country with a pool, or even 2 pools, or an island in the pacific. The final goals I was instructed to write down were my economic goals. Anything to do with how much money I would like to earn whether it was personally or for my family. would I like to invest money etc.. Judging by what Mr Robbins now owns I imagine these were exercises he had practiced in his early years.

So I started writing down what I wanted to achieve and managed to write down 18 personal development goals. My personal development goals included:
Learning more about becoming a personal development speaker.  Although I currently do inspirational talks for schools, colleges and community groups, I am not doing them as regular as I would like to.
Visiting regular schools, special needs schools, colleges nursing homes Etc... and to carry out a minimum of 3 talks a week so I could inspire more people to be more successful and fulfill their potential
To meet or have a conversation with Anthony Robbins as he has become a bit of a Guru to me but as he lives in America I was unlikely to see him for a while.

Beside all my goals I had to say in what time period I wanted these goals to be achieved by and then to pick 3 one year goals and write down why they absolutely had to happen.  The next thing I was instructed to do was to make a positive action to get started on at least one goal. But before I got around to that, the phone rang and I was asked if I could stand in for a speaker who had cancelled with only ten hours notice. I asked what the subject matter was and I was sent a list that included; 

Me my torch and my Olympic tracksuit

• Perseverance of adversity 
• not letting difficulties hold you back 
• being a positive influence on others through the way you live your life.

Now if you have read any of my other blog stories you will know this is right up my street.  So seven hours later I turned up, as instructed, with my Olympic torch wearing the Olympic tracksuit.  I was to speak to youths from a private school who had achieved a significantly high grades in their GCSE and A Level exam results.  Judging by the response I got from the crowd and the kind words from the organisers the talk went well. So well that the person who hired me twice the money that I had asked for. What I didn't know until the following day is that I had been standing in for 'Titanic' star Kate Winslet who has two children at the school.

Kate Winslet

This to me was a step in the right direction and although I didn't get a recording of the event it will remain fresh in my memory.

A day later I was told that Tony Robbins was to doing a talk with Seb Coe and Donald trump amongst others, at the Excel Arena; £12 for a 3 day seminar.  So I then attended the seminar and got to see him live at the O2 Arena London only days later.

Now I have never signed up to the belief about cosmic forces, but the events of the last week are starting to give me an open-ish mind to it.  I forgot to mention that the evening of the talk at the private school was my second talk of that particular day, as I took my torch to a care home in the afternoon where I was 'educated' by a lovely 94 year old man who once part owned LLoyds of England. My torch has been a passport to meet some wonderful people

My advice to anyone reading this would be to follow your dreams and don't lose focus on what you really want out of life.  Focus on what makes you happy.  If it's money you want, saying I want to be a millionaire will never make you a millionaire.  Focus on the reasons you want to be a millionaire and then work towards that goal. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rich, and if your beliefs are strong, having money won't change you, it will just magnify the person you are. If you are someone who just wants a simple life with no desire to climb the ladders of success and riches, and you are someone who just want a happy family and close friends you can rely on, then focus on those you love.  There is no secret formula to happiness but we will tend get what we focus on most.  So for goodness sake, don't focus on the stuff you don't want to have, focus on what makes you happiest

One positive decision made today can change your life immeasurably

Facebook With the Olympics and Paralympics fresh in our minds it is important that we carry this legacy forward.  Many people have taken up new sports and the personal expectations of the people on the streets has risen.  People like Nicola Adams, Mo Farah and Jessica Ennis have shown that you don't need to be gifted and that hard work and a will to win can and does take you to the top

This is true not only in sport but also in day to day life.  We can all decide to change our lives at any given time.  It is just making decision.  One decision today has the ability to alter the rest of your life beyond belief.  If you are not happy or believe your life could be far more enjoyable, then make a decision.  Whether it is taking a college course, joining a gym or changing jobs.

Now more than ever before there are opportunities out there for all of us.  The internet has made the world a smaller place.  Information on the net is freely available to most of us.  Your new and improved life could be a click away

Make your decision

Making the wrong choice once too often

Inspiration comes to us in many ways.  Many times it will come from positive role models in our own communities, often it will come from our parents who want the best for our futures.  It also comes from school teachers who show us the value of education and how education can help shape a better future.  Many of us are inspired by our heroes. I was inspired by my father to become a boxer and also by watching boxers like Muhammad Ali and Sugar Ray Leonard. My friends at school were inspired by footballers and most wanted to play for their favourite football teams when they grew up.  Our inspirations and what influences us can and do shape our lives.

Phillip Panadher

I recently wrote a blog about a friend of mine who I have known for many years. His name was Phillip Panadher and he had recently started to help out at the gym with the young lads who aspired to be boxers.  He had recently successfully come through rehab after 7 years of drug abuse and was looking and sounding great.  His body was free from drugs and his mind was focused on helping others.  He was lorry driving through a temping agency and told them he couldn't work on Tuesdays or Thursdays as he needed to be here at Spit n Sawdust to help train the children.. During his short time here at the gym Phil had a massive influence on the children and had a certain uncomplicated way of getting them to train.  It was like turning back the clock listening to him talk to the lads.  People these days seem to tip-toe around children so as not to offend them, where as Phil was to the point and couldn't understand why they came boxing training seeming not to wanting to work hard and get fit.  It wasn't that he was strict he just would laugh at their excuses for not putting the effort in and tell them in the simplest of ways why it was important to train hard. As a boxer, I remember saying the same things to Phil when he was a child.  He reminded that I had laughed at him when he told me he lost his fight after winning the first round easily, because he got too tired and had no energy left for the rest of the fight.  I had told him it was because he was unfit and should have trained harder.  He trained harder after that fight and won his next eight fight before discovering 'wine and women' and packing it all in.  His experience was helping him to inspire the boys at the gym to train harder.

On Thursday of last week Phil didn't turn up to training.  I knew that he had started to drink again but it was not on a regular basis and seemed to have it under control when I saw him on the previous Saturday when I saw him out with friends.  At the end of the Thursday's boxing class my step brother came into the gym to see me, asking what I was doing after training.  So I told him I was going home.  He the asked if I could go with him to see my sister because Phil had just died at her house and she was distraught.  Although I have a good idea of what happened  I can't go into the details as there has to be an autopsy, but on getting there, there were police and paramedics both inside and outside the house.  My sister was inconsolable and there was a lot of emotion in the air.  Phil's body was still in my sisters house and rumours of what had taken place were spreading like wild fire.  The scene was awful like something of the TV, it just didn't seem real.  It was a terrible evening.  Many of us had lost a close friend who seemed to be on the road to recovery.

This blog is about inspiration and what influences us.  Phil was starting to influence the lives of others in a positive way. letting them know that if they worked hard they would be successful, but at the same time was clearly dealing with demons in his own head. These demons have left three children without a father.


Two days after Phil had died The Olympic torch arrived in England.  It was a reminder to me that I will be carrying the flame in a few weeks.  What it also reminded me of was the reason I was nominated, and that reason is because people feel I inspire children and help them make the right choices.  It reminded me that my work will never be done. I am not that special, I know so many people who do a similar job to myself and people who dedicate their lives to help others. There will always be people inspiring children to do the right thing but unfortunately there will also always be a minority influencing them to do the wrong thing.  The Olympics will hopefully inspire future generations to take up sports and sport will become a focus that will lead them on the a successful life.  Phil knew the dangers that were out there and joined the boxing club to ensure others didn't go down the same road he chose.

I am not sure where I am going with this blog.  Maybe I am hoping that by reading this people might make a decision that may help inspire someone they know to choose the right path.  Maybe I hope a drug user will read it and think twice before offering a youngster a spliff.  I wrote this because I am angry and upset that we have lost a friend who made the wrong choice once too often.

Rest in Peace Phillip Panadher

Success!! Could this be about you? includes Alvin Mighty,Rob Evans, Marlon Starling,my dad, my girlfriend my family, Frank Wise School, the Olympic Torch, Rosie Berry Bob Marley

It is fair to say that I write blogs in the hope of inspiring people.  I believe we all have it in us to achieve success in our own lives and also believe the vast majority of us underachieve massively.  I will sharing stories from all walks of lives including former champion boxers, successful business people, catwalk models, footballers and who ever else I can convince to join the party. Hopefully many of the stories will be direct from people I have contacted like former World Champion Marlon Starling and of course Banbury's own Boxer turned model Robert Evans

There are many ways in which we can measure success with many people seeing successful people as those who have made it financially.  How many times will we see someone we knew at school driving an expensive car and living in a big house or appearing on a TV show, and say 'they have done well for themselves'?  I will also be finding out what these people believe success is.  If you have a view on what you believe success is, please feel free to give your definition in the comments box below this blog.

What I want to do in this blog is find inspirational success stories to show how certain people who have perhaps started with nothing, had no prospects but have done really well against the odds.  I also would like to hear stories from people were feel they were born to be successful, who may have started their own business from scratch.  Many of my blogs talk about how hard work is the true route to achievement, is this true or are there short cuts?  I would like you the readers to join in with personal stories of your own to inspire others to become successful. I will be asking for four events/people/circumstances that have changed the course of your lives whether they are good, bad or indifferent.

I want to further understand what makes an achiever and the process it takes to accomplish their goals and who, if anyone helped inspire them. I have my own personal stories from people I know.  I will be talking to people on their way to success, people who are already successful and people who have been successful.  I want to see if people judge success as an achievement and if success has helped or hindered people.  I have many visits to schools coming up where I will be doing all I can to convince pupils that their future can be as bright as they want to make it.  The more I get inspired, the more I can inspire the next generation

To get the blog rolling I will write a little about my life and the times I feel I have been successful including at least four pivotal times in my life.  Much of my life has been highlighted in previous blogs and have been more about my experiences rather than what I feel are successes

Dave Earle

I was born in 1963 to my father Maxie Earle and Mother Patsy.  As a child I didn't feel any different to any other child.  After starting school in Coventry it became apparent that my skin colour was going to impact on my life.  With three Dave's in my class I was quickly distinguished as 'Black Dave'  I was bought up with my two sisters on a council estate in Coventry by my father after the breakdown of my parents marriage.  I was made aware that life may be harder for us by my father because of our colour and I would have to work hard for any success. At school I didn't do well academically and focused more on doing well at sport as that seemed to come more 'naturally'.  Although I was a short skinny kid, I would generally do well at most sports at school and was always fit.  I enjoyed school and although I was never going to be top of the class academically I drew strength and confidence from being above average at sports. One sport I would have liked to be better at was football. I never made the school football team being a fast runner meant I could get to the ball first but once I had the ball I couldn't do much with it. 

My father remains the biggest influence on my life

So as a child I never had much success other than winning the odd sprint on sports day.  Strangely everybody imagined I could fight because my father was a boxer.  My father is the biggest reason for me being who I am today.  Everything my father did I wanted to do.  My father was a boxer I wanted to be a boxer (and was), my father was a lorry driver , I wanted to be a lorry driver (and was), my father was a bouncer so I wanted to be a bouncer (and was).  I can clearly say that my father was pivotal to my young life and the way I wanted to lead my life.  He could do no wrong in my eyes. All I wanted to do was make him proud. Saying that,  I didn't start boxing properly until I was fifteen years old. I had a brief attempt when I was eleven but got scared off when I was asked to spar a bigger boy.   I moved from Wood End in Coventry when my father met a lady called Sylvia who lived in another part of town.  Fortunately for me I lived on a road opposite a family called the Christies.  The Christies were a family of Jamaican Origin and Mr and Mrs Christie had a daughter and five sons.  All five sons went on to become National Amateur Boxing champions.  One of the brothers, Andrew talked me into going along to the boxing club with him.  I boxed from the age of fifteen until I was twenty seven, winning five home counties titles back to back and reached the Quarter Finals of the ABA's (The national competition for amateur boxers) on two occasions.  Although I drifted from job to job through the years the one constant in my life was sport, in particular boxing.  I also spent a further four years competing as a full contact kick-boxer and won two British Full-Contact Titles, but in all fairness I wasn't the best kick-boxer in the country but my boxing skills at the time were enough to ensure most of my opponents didn't stay around long enough to use their superior kicking abilities for them to hear the final bell. I was it has to be said 'a bit of a banger' but also as one fighter said, I couldn't kick high enough to kick his cat. (not that I would want to)  I have been lucky enough to fight in different countries around the world and that taking part in sports has opened lots of doors for me and gained me the respect of many people. 

Fun with my three boys and my step-daughter

Another huge influence in my life was having children.  The biggest influence since the influence of my father. I see my role now as being a positive role model for my children.  Everything changed when I had children.  I see the world differently now.  Having children is a great natural boost to anyone's life.  It's almost a new beginning.  From changing nappies to taking them to football matches and watching them compete at sports. Terrible twos? I never noticed them although I may have been told they had them.  I have a triple whammy now.  I have gone from trying to make my dad proud to making my kids proud and watching them make me proud

My gym is a place where people
can and have transform their lives

Jo has been there for me
 whilst I followed my dreams

Three of my sisters

I have had lots of highs and lows in my life and wouldn't change anything apart from wishing my parents were around for longer.  Do I see my self as successful?  Yes I think so.  I have nothing of material value, never owned my own house or had two holidays in a year.  I am at best financially unstable but... I started on a rough council estate in Coventry, along the way I have been lucky enough to have a loving family including 6 sisters and a brother.  Joining a boxing club led to me winning several championships both in boxing and kick-boxing,  I have three wonderful sons who are all doing well and achieving their own successes and a bright musical step-daughter and have a lovely girlfriend who I been with for ten years who has allowed me to follow my dream of setting up my own gym and boxing club.  I get to influence peoples lives in a positive way which has included leading some away from a life of crime and for others instilling confidence and belief in their personal abilities. I also get to work with the less fortunate such as the pupils of a local school for the disabled.  This alone has helped me realise how fortunate I am. They once reduced me to tears after a school assembly, seeing how contented some pupils were despite their disabilities.  

Frank Wise 

I was voted in as a Town Councillor by the public of Banbury, so get to help people at a local level from issues varying from deportation to overgrown stinging nettles.  As a councillor I have cut ribbons to open shops and fetes. The Banbury public also nominated me to carry the Olympic torch which I will do on July 10th 2012.  I have helped a young lad achieve his dream of being a British Champion boxer on three occasions, he is now a super-model and mixing with 'A' list celebrities all over the world.  He recently called me from Brazil and told me it looks like he is going to be a judge on America's Top Model   

Wez was a bit naughty but became like a son. I like to think
that we are one big family at Spit n Sawdust. 

Success to me is being happy with my life and I am very happy.  My successes are continuing.  I will produce more champions, I fully expect my children to keep making me proud and I will steer youths along the right path and help them realise their potential.  Yes I would like to have more money, a bigger house  a nice car and have financial stability, I am not a martyr but they would just be the icing on the cake.

 In summary: to many people I may not be successful, but I feel successes are to be had every day of the week.  I successfully woke up in time to walk my girlfriend to work and for a coffee at Nero's this morning before going to work myself, as I left Nero's a lady said "have a good day" I said  "I will" and have gone on to have lots of minor successes throughout the day, including I believe, adding to this blog.  I believe you don't have to be a great achiever to be successful, you just need to be successful in your own right.  Surely it is more important to be surrounded by a loving family and have a great circle of friends, than it is to own a Rolls Royce and live alone in a mansion? 

If we smile more than we frown we are doing ok

How do we get from 'ffs I will never do anything right!' to 'There is nothing I cannot acheive!!!!'

My Renault 5 was not quite as quick as a Fiat Panda

We all talk to ourselves all of the time even if we don't want to.  Most of the talk is often negative and stops us doing the things we want to do.  We tell ourselves we haven't the time to do things, we can't afford to do things, haven't got the energy to do stuff, can't be bothered to do anything.  The amount of times I hear people say they are bored, and when I have asked them why don't you do something they say 'I can't be bovered'  They can't even be bothered with the 'th' in bothered.  Well don't say you are bored then!!!!

In my Beemer I was the 'dogs Gonads'

I remember starting a job as a life assurance salesman back in the 90's.  I traded my new Renault 5 Campus in for a six year old BMW 3 Series.  Each morning I would leave for work in a suit, jump in my beemer and cruise 40 minutes in style to Bletchley near Milton Keynes ready  for work.  I felt like the dogs gonads.  I had arrived in the real world where I had real responsibility and had the opportunity to change and add security to peoples lives.  I could help people buy houses, retire early, set up endowment policies for their houses or long term saving plans so their children had a start in life when they finished school.  All of a sudden there was purpose to my life and I was so happy.  My previous job was a machine operator at the chocolate factory where I had spent 5 years of my working life.  I remember the first job I had at the chocolate factory; it was sat on a plastic tray in my white overalls, watching the smarty centres trundle of a conveyor belt into another tray, where it was up to me to sort out the good smarties from the bad smarties, for 8 hours a day.  I remember thinking I wish I was on Jensen 5 so I could sort out the mini eggs because this is so tedious. 5 years I worked at the chocolate factory clock-watching, waiting for the day to end.  The Chocolate factory was one of a many factory and warehouse occupations I held over a period of 20 years since leaving school.  I had 'assembled' mobile telephone cases with a single click before passing it on to the next person,  picked and packed at numerous warehouses, and stacked bread all day in a bakery.    So when I got the chance to sell life assurance pensions and other financial services I was over the moon.  Waking up that first morning thinking 'this is the new me' I put on my suit, I pushed my chest out, rolled my shoulders back, lifted my chin up and walked proudly to my BMW.  After completing my training as a life assurance salesman I was told to visit all the people I knew who might require one of my financial services. It started brilliantly but I quickly found I was running out of friends to sell to.  To be honest I was running out of friends full stop.  I now knew why one of my work mates at Sun Life of Canada always started his cold calling by saying 'Don't hang up I am not a Jehovah's Witness'   We were programmed to sell to everyone we met, because 'everybody needed financial advice even if they didn't realize it'  We used to go to work every Wednesday for a chat with our boss to discuss how many leads we had and how many leads had turned into sales.  The rest of the day was spent prospecting, cold calling, I felt there was nothing worse than cold calling. we would be using the business directories and yellow pages.  Then on the other days we were told to go cold calling to peoples homes.  Yes, we were to knock on doors whilst people were settling down to have there meals with their families.  I felt embarrassed doing this.  We often went in pairs and I hated the rejection. I wasn't a salesman I stopped the cold calling and decided to rely on trying to get people I knew to sign up to a pension or take out a mortgage.  I really did believe in what I was selling but the rejection from strangers and the fact people I knew seemed to start ignoring me meant I did less and less 'prospecting'.  Nobody wanted a pension or life assurance My wage was largely commission based so after a year I was broke .  I remember when I first started to dislike the job and that was when I struggled selling.  My boss started by saying 'you're so laid back Dave you a horizontal'  but after a while when there were virtually no sales he was more blunt.  He said to me 'You are not laid back Dave, you are just afraid to bite the bullet'  I remember those words as if he said them yesterday.  He was right of course.  I might have initially liked driving to work in my BMW wearing a suit and having the opportunity to change peoples lives, but  now I hated everything about my job.  In the end I couldn't be bothered, and because of this I lost my flat, my car and my girlfriend. Eventually I lost my job too, I felt I had been used for the friends I once had but now I had been dumped as I was of no more use.  I felt I had no friends, it seemed the whole world had turned against me, I couldn't even afford to go out for a drink to make new friends.  I felt I was a failure because that is what I told myself.   I had many years of telling myself I wasn't any good at anything other than boxing.  But by now I was to old to believe I could make any money from that.  I really didn't have any prospects.  I had no qualifications to help me get any job.  Fortunately I lived in Banbury so I had a bit of a name so I bummed around looking for work whilst bouncing on pub doors to make ends meet.  Other than my achievements in boxing I felt I had nothing to be proud of.   One good thing that came out of selling life assurance was that one lady who decided against buying life assurance from me took a shine to me and we stated dating.  Three years later we got married and went on to have three sons who I love so much. and are a huge part of my life.  I did felt I did everything I could to make my boys proud.   But my old ways never changed.  I was never happy with any of my jobs and we always struggled with money.  This put pressure on the relationship with my wife and eventually and understandably after seven years together she asked for a divorce.  She told me that being married to me was like looking after an extra child and I could see her point.  I should have been more bothered.

So as you can see telling myself I wasn't a salesman, nobody wanted the financial services that I had to offer, not biting the bullet, and hating cold calling never helped me.  I saw little of a future in any of my jobs once I had decided I was unhappy.  Looking back I can say I should have tried harder, I could have sold more as a life assurance salesman because the potential to earn a lot of money was definitely there and I would have been more successful in my working life and my home life.  Factory and warehouse work should have worked as I could have worked harder for a promotion which would have given me more money so I like many of my friends, would have the security of my own home and holidays abroad every year. But Shudda, Cudda, Wudda   is not much better than Shan't, Can't, Won't.   To improve our lives and become successful we need to change the way we talk to ourselves.  Positive thinking alone is not the answer.  I have so many positive thoughts over the years.  I was going to be a World Champion! Better than Muhammad Ali!  That's fairly frigging positive.  I am sure lots of people reading this had dreams of playing for their favourite football team, being a model and travelling the world or being an airline pilot?  Lots of people, including my trainer told me I Shudda trained harder and Wudda been in the Olympics and Cudda been a World Champion.  Whether I should have, would have or could have is all history now for me and I am getting on with my life.  Do I have regrets? maybe a little as far as the boxing goes.  It would have been nice to see how far I would have got if I was totally committed, and if I had actually believed in myself a little more.  But lets be honest, that can be said for any of us.  I am no different to anyone else, if anyone had trained for as long and hard as I did, with the same amount of conviction then they would have achieved the same as I did.  All we can do now is make sure the rest of our lives go the way we want them to.

I am at the stage of my life now where I feel I need to take the next step.  I feel I am moving from cudda, shudda, wudda to a place where I am making things happen.  This is still an insecure place as I am not totally in control of my finances but more than I was before.  I understand that I could still fail but feel more equipped to move forward.  I feel the main reason for this is reading and writing.
I have never been one for reading books but since starting a couple of years ago I have been converted into a daily reader.  I don't read anything that I feel I won't learn from.  I understand that many people read as a form as escapism and that many fictional books are informative.  My girlfriend reads books such as the 'Da Vinci Code' which is full of facts and is very descriptive to the point that she wants to visit Paris and see the places she has read about.  I have read many self help books, some good and some a load of old b****cks, consequently this had lead to me writing this blog.  In the past I have always had that boost after finishing reading as I mentioned earlier in a previous blog, but I have never been able to change my approach to life for a long period of time so often end up where I started.  There is a short story that explains why we don't maintain a change of lifestyle in the book I am reading caleed  'WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU TALK TO YOURSELF'  The book was written in 1985 by a man called Shad Helmstetter and was given to me by a man who reads my blogs.  In this book there is a section that says about why we don't move forward with our lives and keep slipping back to our old ways.  He explains why positive thinking doesn't work by asking us to imagine we have a 'mental department'  The place where we live with our thoughts.  The department is filled with all our old thoughts about ourselves and the world around us.  Many of our thoughts are handed down from our parents teachers, friends, colleagues, the media etc... All these have helped programme our subconscious minds.   They have given us the furniture and we have stored it in our 'mental department'  We are told to imagine that most of that furniture is negative 'hand me down' furniture and is weary with age and worn.  The chairs are broken and shaky, ready to fall apart if sat on too heavily, the pictures, hanging crookedly on the walls, are yellowed and faint.  the kitchen table leans at an angle, the dishes are chipped and cracked, no cup has a handle, long since broken away.  Coils on the bed-springs show through, rusted and bent, the rug on the floor is more patches and holes than it is a rug. With these furnishing a strong new piece of furniture (some positive thought)  would seem out of place, but though here and there, there might be a sturdy piece of furniture or two.  But they are too over run by clutter to be noticed at all.

Now imagine someone comes over and offers to come over to your mental apartment and help you get rid of all your old furniture.  They tell you they are going to get rid of all your negative thinking once and for all .  So at 4.30 tomorrow afternoon they arrive and start to carry out all your old hand me down furniture and store it in the garage out of site.  They remove every piece, every dish, every rug, every sofa, table, bed and chair.

Gone forever?

By 6 o'clock everything is gone and we are left with a clear mind.  Not a negative thought in sight.  Not a sofa, chair, table.  Nothing at all......now I can become a positive thinker.  But that was at 6 O'clock.  What happens later in the evening when there is nothing in your mental department?  You need something in there. you need some thoughts otherwise you will go nuts.  So you have to go to the garage and get some of your negative thoughts.  First a table, then a chair and then maybe a dish or two.

We are most comfortable with our thoughts that we have lived with for most of our lives.  It make no difference if those thoughts are bad for us, it was what we know.  It is what we feel most secure with by our sides.  By 10 0'clock we have brought back the trusty old TV and one by one we will begin to bring in all our old trusted and time worn negative thoughts back into our mental department! Why? Because when you moved all of your old furniture out you didn't replace it.  You had no positive new thoughts to replace the negative old thoughts.  When we decide to stop thinking negatively we need to immediately start to think positively to ensure the negative thoughts are kept out.

By reading and writing in order to hopefully inspire others I am inspiring myself.  I am, not immediately, but slowly getting rid of my old furniture and replacing it with new.  I no longer say I cannot do things and don't tell my self I am not clever enough, or not good enough to do anything.  I am moving out of the cudda, shudda, wudda and taking as many people as I can with me, onto a better place where we are achieving more and fulfilling more of what we want to achieve.

What I have started doing is telling myself I am more organized.  I am tricking my subconscious mind into  believing I am more organized, that I have a good memory and that I am good enough to do my own paperwork.  In the past I have gone hard at it and made rash changes thinking I can change the world in a day.  By doing this I have achieved a lot in a short space of time only to suddenly stop.  Now, as I tell my subconscious that I am organized, tidy, a good businessman etc I am starting to believe in myself.  I regularly tell myself how I love to get things done, how I know that by doing things, I have always relied on others to do,  that I will be successful.  The more am telling myself the more I want to become what my subconscious is telling me.  Believe me, this is something I have never tried before but I am starting to believe that this is easy.  I am becoming the man I want to be just by telling myself I am him already him.  Every time I do something I wouldn't normally do, I ask myself why I didn't do it before.  It is a bizarre feeling but a great feeling.  What I am beggining to realise is that I have always had the ability to do things but I have got into a way of life that has told me I can't.   I was sent a text about funding and how I should apply for funding.  Funding is something people told me I should have been applying for many years ago due to the work I do with youths.  I apparently fit into all areas that the government want to give funding for:  I work with all ages from 5 years old up to pensioners, I work with all ethnic diversities, I work with children and youths with social and behavioural issues, I provide a service in the way of work experience,  visits and fitness classes to schools, colleges and special needs groups, I mentor children and teenagers and sometimes parents etc... But I don't apply for funding, why?  The reason has always been because I didn't think I deserved it,  And questioned why I should receive 'handouts'.  I now believe that I do provide a service and truly believe that without my boxing club the crime rate in Banbury would be higher and more children would be getting into trouble.  I remind myself of the people who's lives have turned around for the better because of Spit n Sawdust. When I hear of a crime being committed by a youth in Banbury and that youth has either hurt someone, or the crime is a result of the youth turning to drink and drugs, I wish they had joined my gym so I would have had a chance of changing their mindsets and maybe had pointed them on the right road.  So now I am thinking, with funding we at Spit n Sawdust can help far more people, and by not looking for funding or following up on leads people have given me to find funding I am letting people down.  There has always been this nagging voice in my head when I think of applying for funding.  That nagging voice is the echo of the times I have heard of people saying 'Why should Dave Earle have funding he is a business?'.  But I am assuming these people don't realize what my business does or what it will be capable of doing with the help of funding.  More funding will secure the future of Spit n Sawdust and give us the opportunity to grow and help more people.

Dreaming is for dreamers. Don't wait

When I first opened Spit n Sawdust I said to my girlfriend 'this is the first of many clubs'.  I had a dream of having fitness clubs all over the world.  Now I still want clubs all over the world but not only as fitness clubs. I want clubs that do more than get people physically fit but also a club that is affordable that gives everyone the opportunity to grow as people no matter what their backgrounds or where or how they were brought up. I understand that some people start off on the wrong foot through no fault of their own.  Most children given a bit of encouragement and care can go on to achieve much more than we might believe.  I am believing in myself now more than I ever have and believe we can all do the same.  But many of us need to change.  We need to really believe in ourselves and get rid of the old furniture that is holding us back and replace it with new furniture that will take us into a new and successful future.  I am on my way there now and will arrive there soon.  If we look forward and see only darkness and disappointment with the feint hope of a lottery win to change our lives, you can guess what we will find when we get there, and it is not a lottery win.

So what do we all need to do to change.  How do we move from being who we don't want to be to the person we do want to be?  Once we have decided that we have moved on we need to 'close the deal'.  If it was giving up smoking that we have decided to is going to be a thing of the past and we have recently managed to kick the habit we now need to tell ourselves 'I don't smoke, my lungs are clean and healthy, I have no habits that harm me or hold me back in any way' and instead of doing things when we feel like doing them we do them as soon as they need doing, telling yourself 'I enjoy doing things when they need to be done, I love being organised and love getting things done.  This may free up more time to either do other important jobs that will help you move forward or even give you more quality time with a loved one.

Once you have convinced yourself  'I am a winner, I believe in myself', I respect myself and like who I am', I have decided to take charge of my life and be successful and that's what I am doing'.   Can you imagine going through the rest of your life with that kind of self talk on your side.  You deserve the best out of life perhaps it's time you did something about it?

READING THIS BLOG AND SELF HELP BOOKS DO NOT CHANGE PEOPLE. THEY ARE JUST AIDS TO GUIDE YOU. 

YOU ALONE CAN MAKE THE CHANGES BUT IT REQUIRES ACTION SO GET STARTED AND DON'T BE INSPIRED JUST FOR TODAY, TOMORROW OR NEXT WEEK.  

START PUTTING THINGS RIGHT TODAY AND REPROGRAMME THE WAY YOU THINK, TAKE IT WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF YOU LIVES

Self help books are a little like the exercise machines we have at home.  Before I had my gym I used offer personal training at peoples houses.  I would advertise my services via fliers through peoples letterboxes and then wait for the calls so I could arrange appointments.  I would then visit the people who expressed an interest in personal training and set up a programme to help them with their health and fitness.  Some people would want to lose weight, others might want to gain muscle and some just didn't feel comfortable using gyms.  So on the next visit I would arrive at their house with a range of equipment that I felt would be suitable for their fitness training.  One man I visited was ex-army.  He had long since left the army but in his quest to keep fit he had turned his garage into a gym and had a good range of fitness equipment.  But like many people the thought of training was more appealing than the reality.  On starting his training routine he was full of enthusiasm and he increased his fitness levels in a very short time.  His programming from his army days slipping easily back into action and in only two months the changes were phenomenal. He had lost his belly, from being unable to run a few hundred meters without getting out of breath he could now run 5 miles, his strength and stamina returned and I found I was getting fitter just keeping up with him.  This was truly a win, win situation for me.  But like many of my customers, he suddenly stopped training saying work was getting in the way.  whether this was the real reason I will never know but many of the people I used to visit had similar stories.  Many people who wanted personal training were reasonably comfortable financially and had their own fitness equipment at home ranging from a couple of pieces of gym equipment, to an entire gym.  I remember visiting one customer and thinking "This lady should make herself some money and open this gym to the public".  But, just like that teach yourself a foreign language cassette we used to listen to in the car, the self help books that once inspired us and the running shoes we bought so we could one day run that marathon they soon all become discarded.  Most of the houses I visited had fitness equipment that doubled as a place to dry clothes.

Getting from I cannot do something to should do something and onto I will do something is a step by step procedure that takes us onto doing things.  Personally I have never been organised which I feel is the reason my business has never moved forward at any pace.  I have always been terrible at paperwork and doing the books and even dropped out of a business course at college because I found it too difficult.  Hence the reason I don't feel I am cut out for business.  But eight years after starting my business I was still in business telling myself that if I was better at business I would be more successful.  Whilst I have watched businesses close all around me I have be telling myself  "It is only a matter of time before I lose my business" The pub next door has closed down 7 or 8 times since I started my gym in November 2003.  The credit crunch has been responsible for the closure of multinational co-operations such as Woolworths and Chicago Rock Cafe but I was still here giving myself a hard time about how rubbish I am at business.  I need to be better at running a business, of that there is no doubt otherwise I will struggle on for the next 8 years.  But does the fact that I have never been organised and flunked a business course  mean that I don't have the ability to be successful?  Am I unsuccessful?  Does the fact that I couldn't even get finance on an additional mobile phone that would have cost me an additional £15 a month, last month mean that I will probably fail in the long term and I have been 'lucky' since 2003?

I found out last night whilst door knocking for votes as a town councillor that 'we' as councillors are treated in many ways less welcome than a Jehovas Witness.  My father was a Witness and told me of the constant rejection he got when knocking doors spreading the 'good word'  Whilst out last night I realised I was responsible for everything the Conservative government has done wrong.  The pension reforms, family tax credit reforms, the price of fuel at the pumps etc.... It was all our fault and last night it was my fault.  Like my father I am a foot soldier, but I am a foot soldier for the Conservative government.  I became a town councillor because I love Banbury.  I had no alliance to any political party as I believed they are all the same.  Like any business they are given a budget and told to keep the country afloat.  As far as I could see all governments make promises they can't keep to win votes, if they didn't they would never be elected.  I knew that by becoming a town councillor I would be in a position locally where I could visit schools and help children.  Helping people is my business.  Joining the conservative party helps me run  my business.  Whilst we were out canvassing one man said, of me, that he would not be voting for me because I am only doing it to help my business?  Well I am not ashamed to say, yes it is to help my business.  My business is everything to me and if the government can help me get into schools and help direct children and youths onto a better life then I am guilty as charged..... That's enough politics for now

Back to how talking to ourselves.  I want to talk about how easy it is to be down on ourselves and conversely how we can pick ourselves up.  But first I want to put things into perspective I want to talk about yesterday when a friend of mine came around for a chat and a catch up.  He has quite a good life, he doesn't have a lot of money, a nice car or a big house, in fact he likes to talk about what he does have and the good times he has had or is gong to have in his life. We use Facebook to occasionally chat and catch up with each other and maybe discuss a bit of boxing, as his days are primarily spent on the internet talking about boxing to many professional boxers and boxing fanatics, and I run a boxing club.  Yesterday as he occasionally does he decided to pop in for a chat and a cuppa in my bar.  We exchanged formalities and I asked him how he was doing.  He said he was fine, doing great, talking to lots of people in the 'game' he did a bit of name dropping and I was suitably impressed.... and then he told me he had just recently been diagnosed with lung cancer.  I was obviously surprised and asked him when he found out and the prognoses.  He said he is taking each day as it comes but after the initial shock had quickly come to terms with it and is making sure he keeps on enjoying life.  Since taking an interest in boxing he has met so many people and has been treated so well by the boxing fraternity that he feels lucky to have such great experiences.  He told me of his all expenses paid trips to Germany to watch world title fights, he meets and talks to people everyday either through Facebook or on a personal level, he introduces people to each other through his boxing forum, who then, although they live in different countries and continents will go on to be friends and travel to see each other.  Whilst he was talking to me his voice was full of excitement and he was looking forward to things that were going to happen in the near future rather than focusing on his disease.  He was here for an hour or two and when he left I thought "that was amazing"

A few months ago I was talking to another person who had came to the gym one afternoon for a chat.   Again we exchanged formalities and I asked how she was doing.  She said she was ok thanks.  She then went on to say she had been signed off work with depression.  I know this lady well and I also know she was going through a bad time and had recently ended a relationship, so could understand why she was signed off with depression.  I asked if she was feeling alright and she said yes she was feeling fine so again we exchanged banter whilst having a hot drink.  Whilst I see that this lady was going through a difficult time and can see that being away from work may help her 'condition', on reflection now, after talking to my friend and seeing how he is dealing with the fact that he has cancer and in his words "I don't know if I will see Christmas" I start to wonder how the human mind works?  I think my first friend showed an amazing amount of courage to face his disease and make the most of his time, experiencing as much as he can in the time he has left, whilst I imagine my second friend, although I don't doubt she was depressed, could with a different mindset manage her illness better.  I have low moments like anyone else but I find I am getting better at dealing with them by putting everything in perspective.  If we accept we need to solve problems to grow as people then surely the problems will become just obstacles that lead us on to a better life? Otherwise if they remain as problems they will always be problems and we will never move forward.  Have you ever, Yes you! have you ever had a long standing grudge with someone?  It might be from years ago when you were at school about a relationship, or a time when that person made you look stupid in front of your friends.  Have you then met this person years down the line and realised they are not as bad as you remembered and not only have they changed but so have you?  We can change how we feel in an instant if we look for the positives in a situation and stop dwelling on the negatives.

If you get down, feel lonely, or become depressed: If things aren't going so well, its's time to change the programme and start to get things back on track.   And this will start when you start telling yourself the way forward and actually believe there is a way.

                     We Created It We Can Change It


Our situation in our lives were created by us or the influences in our lives.  I may never have liked reggae music and boxing if my father was not a Jamaican boxer?  I certainly wouldn't have been a conservative councillor if I hadn't been approached by the conservative party.  Tiger Woods may not have been a prolific golfer had his dad not introduced him to golf before he could even walk and if you or I were born in another country to another religion our view of the world might be totally different.  We are all products of our programming.     

Some believe that what ever we create in our lives we can change, but changing it has been the hardest part. Despair, despondency, and depression are a part of too many of our lives. But those types of feelings that are self created can be lightened or removed but we ourselves must act as therapists to ourselves.  We must tell ourselves and truly believe that we can change our programming.  Talking to ourselves may sound like a crazy concept but it what we do for every waking hour.  By talking to ourselves we can redirect our self-belief and turn our lives around and will help us see the world as a different place.  Sometimes we may feel there is nowhere to turn and nobody to turn to.  But by looking again and telling ourselves there are so many avenues to take and so many lovely people to help us, our lives can be transformed.  What's more, it's truer than you think.

If we decide that things are dark and gloomy then that's the way they will stay.  I hear people say "I wish I was rich, I wish I was fitter, I wish I could give up smoking etc... All these things are achievable to almost every one of us but wishing for something never gets it ... unless you are Aladin and have a magic lamp.  Wanting things to work out right is the reason they didn't work out right in the first place.  We have to make things happen.  It is up to us to create the lives we want.  When dealing with depression psychiatrists and counselors will often recommend a change of diet, I would recommend a bit of positive self talk to ease your mind and then rather than getting depressed you can start to manage your life better and appreciate your self more.  I have just picked up a book I read a short while ago called 'the One Minute Apology' by Ken Blanchard and read a short passage from a chapter called Self Appreciation where a young man is recieving life skills from the One Minute Manager

A young man asked " How does a person learn to appreciate themselves?"

"From four sources" Replied the One Minute Manager.

• "The first is fate. At birth you don't have a choice of where you are born , who your parents are, or whether you are male or female or the color of your skin, it is fate.
• The second is your early life experiences with adults - Your parents, relatives, teachers and coaches.
• "Third" continued the One Minute Manager are your successes and failures in life
• And the fourth source of your self worth is your perception of the first three

"Which of these four do you think are the most powerful?" asked the One Minute Manager?
"The fourth" the young man replied


The story continues and the young man learns more about life skills and in particular in this book of how a one minute apology can make a huge difference to relationships without you looking foolish.  After I read this book I then tried it out for myself to see if it had any value.  After I had told people close to me how I accepted I had made mistakes and wanted to be judged from what I did from then onward.  But instead of being compassionate the people just agreed with my failings telling me I needed to buck up my ideas because they were working so hard and I was letting them down.   That didn't seem to work, and I was furious inside and wanted to retaliate by saying how much I had been trying and how much more I was doing compared to what they were doing etc, I thought what a crap book I just embarrassed myself with my honesty.  I tried to change what I had created by adopting a new approach and fell flat on my face. Once the dust had settled a week or so later I had another talk with the same people explaining that I was not happy with their reaction to my admission of my mistakes and thought they should have reacted differently.  I explained how much I attributed to the cause and although I could see their help was important and valued I would be happy if my efforts were appreciated too. This time the reaction was much better  The heat of the moment at the first meeting seemed to take over any rationality.  They also apologised for the way they had reacted and since then there has been a huge change in our relationships and we understand each other far more than we ever did before.

This was the first time I had stood up and said "I made mistakes" but although I will try not to put myself in that position again it won't be the last.  We all make mistakes it's is one of the ways we learn

It's time some of us had a 'serious' word with ourselves

I want to start this blog by saying I don't deserve, want or need any sympathy off anyone.  My Status titles are put there as 'hooks' to get people to read my blogs.  The blogs are here to hopefully inspire people to lead better, happier and more fulfilled lives.  I come from a very caring and loving family and it has made me who i am.  I am very fortunate, in my opinion, to be where I am in my life considering my lack of academic accolades. One of the last things I would want to do is to have people who feel sorry for me as I am a proud man who does everything that I know would make my parents proud.  Looking for sympathy is not one of them. The very last thing I would want to do is offend members of my own family. 




For many years I have wanted to improve my standard of living.  Judging by the £5.7 billion spent on lottery tickets in the UK last year I am not alone.  I have read numerous self help books, listened to lots of recordings of successful life coaches and trawled the internet over the years looking for inspiration.  It seems every time I read a book I have a eureka moment.   At last I think to myself, a book that will change my life for ever.  I have read spiritual books such as 'The Art of Happiness"   where an American Psychiatrist,  Dr Howard C Cutler, has a one-to-one with the Dalia Lama.  This was a book that showed how to find balance and complete mental and physical freedom on a day to day basis.  It showed simple ways of how to avoid suffering, the importance of compassion and how compassionate people are happier people. It is a beautiful written book that left you with a warm feeling inside and made me a more compassionate person.  On the down side it showed how the western world had little compassion and showed us that we are all hungry for success and don't care who we crush to get it. It showed how the people of Tibet were over-run by the Chinese and how the Dalia Lama was forced into exile and fled to India where he still lives todayOther spiritual books I have read include 'The Way of The Peaceful Warrior' by Dan Millman.  Way of the Peaceful Warrior's enduring appeal has as much to do with the author's compelling personal story as with his message. Dan Millman's journey began during a period of spiritual crisis when he met a powerful old warrior named Socrates at a gas station at 3 a.m., and found himself tempted by an elusive woman named Joy. Thus began an odyssey that led him to the concept of the "peaceful warrior" - and on toward a final confrontation that would either deliver or destroy him. His discovery that the life and practice of the peaceful warrior is action helped him make sense of his life and find a sense of purpose, which he was able to impart to others. For the peaceful warrior, the messages are simple but resonant: "What you give, you receive. Doing is understanding. And you can do anything when you find the heart and courage for it. 'Ghandi'  by Jad Adams (this is a review)...Adding fresh insight to a life so well documented is no mean feat, but Adams's biography of Gandhi eschews hagiography and offers critical insights about the revered political and spiritual leader. Scholars of Indian politics are no strangers to the notion that "Gandhi was a great leader but a poor politician," and Adams (Hideous Absinthe) attends to this naïveté. But the author pulls the veil back much more dramatically on Gandhi's personal life, notably his obsession with chastity and his practice of testing it by sleeping next to teenage girls—in some cases, his young relatives—and receiving daily nude massages from his female devotees. And while Gandhi was an astute campaigner, he was also willful, fixated on his own personal dietary and sexual beliefs, and a bit of a brute to his family. Adams observes that he behaved "not always well toward his friends and supporters, but wonderfully towards people he did not know, and with an outflowing of spontaneous benevolence towards those toiling masses that he would never know in person." The author veers on occasion into overly psychoanalytic dissection of Gandhi's motives, attributing his poor treatment of his offspring to "the carnality of their creation, as if he saw in his own sons nothing but the embodiment of the copulatory urge that had to be tamed." But Adams provides a balanced view of the complex figure whose personal, spiritual and historical legacy are no less great for being flawed. and 'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne. The secret was a brilliant read, probably my first spiritual read.  It talks about the law of attraction and explains how the universe is connected.  I found the book mesmerizing and had to read many parts over and over again to understand the message it was sending.  Thinking back I realise much of what was written was common sense and have to say I disagreed with some information but what a fantastic read.  I also read books by people who I hope will inspire me to be more successful in my business.  Books like 'Business stripped Bare' by Richard Branson, 'I Can Make You Rich' By the hypnotist Paul McKenna. and 'Unlimited Power' by the amazing American Anthony Robbins.  Reading for me was like a new window opening in my life.  Until a couple of years ago I had only read books I had to read at school.  It is important to remember that each person reading the same book will gain different opinions of the what the author is trying to say.  we will all take in what fits well with our own personality/programming (more on that later)

After reading these books and attending business meetings and seminars I am always full of optimism about my future.  I go straight back to work and start making changes and for up to a month I am a new man and my business flourishes.  My view of the world is much clearer now I am full of wisdom. I improve my marketing, I start using my diary so I don't miss appointments and have even written a fresh business plan.  My gym is much tidier as I spend everyday cleaning and tidying But.....  eventually, each time,  I have always slipped back int my old ways and come up with all the same old excuses for not being successful.

But there is no reason for me to be unsuccessful in business.  I am in control of my own thoughts.  We are all what we think we are, and can achieve what we believe we can achieve.  With the help from many people around me I decided a long time ago what my strengths and weaknesses are.  Maths is not one of my strong points. I have never been great at maths and believe I was extremely lucky to get a GCSE 'C', in fact as an academic I have never been good and was never destined to be a scholar, My only 'O' level was in art.  But sport!  That's a different matter.  I was always going to be good at sport, especially boxing.  My dad was a boxer so it was easy for me.  But I wasn't great at football. I had two left feet and was too clumsy.  In fact, when I think about it, as far as sport goes It could be said I was only good at running and boxing?

Thinking back there were lots of things I was not good at? I was never going to be good at business because I am not very organised.  I remember being told about my faults all the way through my childhood by my teachers and friends. As an adult it hasn't been much better.   I was told things like "You are just no good at that". "You can't do anything right", "you're just like your father", "You never remember anything", "You will never be a boxer","You are a daydreamer", "You are lazy", you don't care about anyone but yourself", "If you were any more laid back you would be horizontal" When most of us think back to our childhood we will remember our peers being far more negative about us than positive.  I suspect a lot worse things have said to children behind closed doors.   What many parents see as being protective often becomes negative programming that stays with their children for ever.

Our thoughts control our lives.  We are what we think we are.  We can also become what people expect us to become.  Have you heard the saying "if you say it enough times it becomes real"?   Negative thoughts create negative people.

Most self talk is unconscious or unnoticed.  Some self talk is constructive and beneficial but much is the opposite.  You can easily convince yourself you are what you think if you tell yourself, or if someone else tells you enough times.  Here are some examples of negative 'self talk' you may recognize, of things you may have heard other  people say or said yourself .

I can't remember names
It's going to be another one of those days
It's just no use 
I know it won't work
Nothing ever goes right for me
That's just my luck
I am so clumsy
I don't have the talent
I am just not creative
Everything I eat goes straight to my waist
I can't seem to get organised
Today just isn't my day
I can never afford the things I want
I already know I won't like it
No matter what I do I don't seem to be able to lose weight
I never have enough time
I just don't have the patience for that
That really makes me mad
When will I ever learn
Sometimes I just hate myself
I'm just no good
I am too shy
I never know what to say
With my luck I have no chance 
I would like to stop smoking but I can't seem to quit
I don't have the energy I used to
I never have any money left at the end of the month
I've never been any good at that
Nobody likes me
I never get a break
It seems I am always broke
Sometimes I wish I had never been born
I am so depressed
I am just not a salesman
I lose weight and just put it back on again
I just don't seem to be able to get anything done
Nothing seems to go right for me
I'll never get it right
I just cant take it any more
I am just no good at maths
I always freeze in front of a group
I hate m job
I get cold at this time of year
I am just not cut out for that
There is nothing to do in this town
I am nothing without my first cup of coffee in the morning
You can't trust anyone any more
I am bored
If only I was smarter
If only I were taller
If only I had more time
If only I had more money
Why should I try it won't work anyway
If only I did better at school
...and on, and on, and on


I know I have used many of the above examples about myself and worse than that I have used them about other people.  One lad who uses the gym tells me he has always been clumsy.  He always seems to trip up the stairs when he comes into the gym.  He often drops thing and trips over things.  When fixing things he has sometimes caused more damage than he has repaired.  So is he clumsy? and will I call him clumsy again? The answer to both these questions is no.  Is he always in a hurry and does he like to impress people? Yes!  If he had been told from an early age that he was graceful and well coordinated would he be clumsy today?  I have always been bad at remembering names. I am 47 years old and never can remember being good at remembering names.  I will get introduced to someone at a party and forget their name as soon as I am told it even though I wanted to remember their name.  All my life I have told myself I cannot remember names , I have programmed myself not to remember names.  How can it be possible to forget a name only seconds after it was told to me?  So what happens when the I am asked to get that persons attention or I need to introduce them to someone else?  I go through the alphabet in my head in hope that their name will jump into my mind.  Somewhere in my subconscious mind I have told myself I cannot remember names......

BEHAVIOUR

Success and failure is concluded by our behaviour.  If we take the correct route will will be successful, and of course if we don't we will experience failure.  Life is not about being lucky. Life is not a game of chance, we are not at a casino.  If we leave our life to chance we will fail.  Success comes with managing your life successfully.  Sometimes it seems we are lucky or unlucky but something we have done will have lead to this success or failure.  There are those who say nothing happens by accident and others who say everything happens for a reason.  Lets have a look at your personal successes or failures. Whether you are examining your smaller every day achievements, or the bigger monthly or yearly successes, generally those achievements and success didn't happen by accident, they were a result of something else.   I am lucky.  I have just been given the chance to carry the Olympic torch, nominated by the public in my home town as a person who attributes to the welfare of the community, in particular youths and guiding people who have troubled lives.  My luck comes from my passion for my own town and for the love I have for people no matter what their background.  This all results from my programming from my childhood.  I am sure if I was to see a psychiatrist they would tell me a reason for my compassion.  My luck comes from years of working with people that others may not have been so sympathetic to.  Lets use another example.  If a student at school refuses to study, never pays attention, and often skips school (all behaviour), will the student do well in school?   Probably not.  If that student behaves in a way that says "I don't like being where I am" his or her behaviour will ultimately cause a problem.  The good grades won't show up and if something doesn't change, neither will the student.  So why do we behave this way if we know it will end in disappointment and failure?  Do we not want to succeed? We all know right from wrong so why do we sometimes choose the wrong way?

FEELINGS 

The way we behave is governed by our feelings.  If we feel good about something those feelings will directly influence our behaviour.  Have you ever watched a child who has been made to eat something it didn't like?  How did the child act?  Did the child spit it out like it was being poisoned? I remember feeding my little sisters when they were infants and remember the food ending up all over their face, in their hair and sometimes the bowl would end up on the floor.  But when the pudding came (which I helped them eat) their faces lit up and they would be trying to grab my had to get the food to their mouths more quickly.  What is the difference between one type of food and the other?  It's not because one type is better than the other.  The difference is how the child has come to feel about the food.  The way the child felt about the food determined what action he/she took. I know many level headed people who are scared of flying.  Many times I will get on a plane and watch peoples reactions when the we are told to fasten our seat-belts.  Some say a prayer, others close their eyes or cuddle their partners.  My girlfriend will always have a couple of pints of Guinness.  This is all down to peoples feelings.

Your feelings about anything you do will affect how you do it.  It doesn't have to be feelings of like and dislike, joy or fear all of your feelings affect your actions.  How you feel about your job, your partner, your family, money, health, yourself, your success will determine how you behave in each of these areas.  If your feelings are positive and productive then your actions/behaviour will follow.  But what causes you to have the feelings which are so much a part of you?  What creates the way we feel about anything? Did you get them by accident?  No way, never. Your feelings are created controlled and determined or influenced by your attitude

ATTITUDES

Your attitudes are how you view life.  Some people seem to have good attitudes and some seem to have a bad attitude about everything.  But most, when you look closer, have a mixture of good and bad attitudes.  What ever attitude we have about anything will affect the way we feel about it, which in turn will determine how we act about it, which in turn will decide how well we will do.  So our attitudes play a big part in how successful we will become.  How many people do you know who seem to have a bad attitude?  Many children, teenagers in particular are told they have a bad attitude, or that their attitude stinks.  Teenagers are often told if they carry on with that attitude the will always get in trouble and never achieve anything.   A good attitude is essential to achievement of any kind.  Having a good attitude is essential but we must have an attitude that works for us.  But where do we get our attitudes? Are we born with them? They don't just happen.  Our attitudes are no accident.  They don't just happen.  They are created, controlled and influenced by our  beliefs

BELIEFS

Armagedon

What we believe about anything will determine our attitude about it, create our feelings, direct our actions and help us to do well, poorly or succeed.  Our beliefs are so powerful they will make things that are real seem unreal, truths seem untrue and wrongs seem right.  A belief does not require something to be the way we see it to be, it only requires that we believe that it is. It is possible that tomorrow morning in some classroom in Afghanistan a little boy or little girl will be made to believe that the Western world and full of terrorists wanting kill their families and take over their country.  It is possible that at the same time a child in the United States will be made to believe that Muslims are bad people intent on destroying the Western World and killing their families and taking over their country.  I remember as a teenager believing what I heard through the media and expected the world to end in 1984.  Although |I never totally believed the world would end, I was glad on January 1st 1985.  I hear similar stories now from children and teenagers about 2012.  For those who still worry about the world ending in 2012. The Jehova's Witness group Watchtower had 46 failed end of world predictions that were to occur between 30 AD and 1920 AD but as we know, the world didn't end. But many 'believed' it would, and how do you think it affected the lives of these people?  

As an example of how important belief can be, imagine something about yourself.  Something that was working against you but was not true.  Let's say you believed you had trouble making friends easily.  or being excepted easily or naturally by others.  I know I believed this when I was younger.  Let's say that you were the child at the back of the class or the child who was a seen as the geek and not popular like the lads who played football who were popular.  As a result you found yourself standing back in social gatherings self-conscious and unsure of what to say. Or at work where you never spoke up even when you had a great idea that would help your boss but you let others speak first and get a substandard idea be used. Let' say that you wanted to be witty, fun and involved but the outside you just didn't measure up.  

Since whatever you believe about yourself will end up affecting what you do, you can be sure that you are not as socially acceptable as you want to be.  Your belief about yourself will turn out to be correct whether it's true or not.  All social behaviour is conditioned. Nobody is born socially adapt or inept.  If you tell yourself you cannot do something, what can the only outcome be.

We all have thousands of beliefs about ourselves some big some small and many are correct,. But I suspect many more are not.  Where do these beliefs come from? do they spring from nowhere? are we born with them like some sort of birth mark that we keep for ever? Do we create them ourselves? Where do we get them?  Our Beliefs are directly created by our programming

PROGRAMMING

We are all programmed what we are programmed to believe.   Our conditioning from the day we were born, has been created, reinforced and almost been cemented into our minds. That's most of what we believe about ourselves, and what we believe about what goes on around us.  Whether the programming was right or wrong, true or false, the truth is what we believe.  It all starts with programming!  what we have accepted from the outside world or fed to ourselves, has initiated a natural cause, a chain reaction that leads us to either fail or succeed in self management of ourselves and our futures.  It is our programming that sets up our beliefs.  In a logical progression, what we believe determines our attitudes, affects our feelings, directs our behaviour and determines our success or failure.

1. Programming creates beliefs
2. Beliefs create attitudes
3. Attitudes create feelings
4. Feelings determine actions
5. Actions create results

That's how the brain works. If you want to manage yourself in a better way, and want to change your results, you can do it at any time you please.  Start with the first step.  Change your programming!