Making the wrong choice once too often

Inspiration comes to us in many ways.  Many times it will come from positive role models in our own communities, often it will come from our parents who want the best for our futures.  It also comes from school teachers who show us the value of education and how education can help shape a better future.  Many of us are inspired by our heroes. I was inspired by my father to become a boxer and also by watching boxers like Muhammad Ali and Sugar Ray Leonard. My friends at school were inspired by footballers and most wanted to play for their favourite football teams when they grew up.  Our inspirations and what influences us can and do shape our lives.

Phillip Panadher

I recently wrote a blog about a friend of mine who I have known for many years. His name was Phillip Panadher and he had recently started to help out at the gym with the young lads who aspired to be boxers.  He had recently successfully come through rehab after 7 years of drug abuse and was looking and sounding great.  His body was free from drugs and his mind was focused on helping others.  He was lorry driving through a temping agency and told them he couldn't work on Tuesdays or Thursdays as he needed to be here at Spit n Sawdust to help train the children.. During his short time here at the gym Phil had a massive influence on the children and had a certain uncomplicated way of getting them to train.  It was like turning back the clock listening to him talk to the lads.  People these days seem to tip-toe around children so as not to offend them, where as Phil was to the point and couldn't understand why they came boxing training seeming not to wanting to work hard and get fit.  It wasn't that he was strict he just would laugh at their excuses for not putting the effort in and tell them in the simplest of ways why it was important to train hard. As a boxer, I remember saying the same things to Phil when he was a child.  He reminded that I had laughed at him when he told me he lost his fight after winning the first round easily, because he got too tired and had no energy left for the rest of the fight.  I had told him it was because he was unfit and should have trained harder.  He trained harder after that fight and won his next eight fight before discovering 'wine and women' and packing it all in.  His experience was helping him to inspire the boys at the gym to train harder.

On Thursday of last week Phil didn't turn up to training.  I knew that he had started to drink again but it was not on a regular basis and seemed to have it under control when I saw him on the previous Saturday when I saw him out with friends.  At the end of the Thursday's boxing class my step brother came into the gym to see me, asking what I was doing after training.  So I told him I was going home.  He the asked if I could go with him to see my sister because Phil had just died at her house and she was distraught.  Although I have a good idea of what happened  I can't go into the details as there has to be an autopsy, but on getting there, there were police and paramedics both inside and outside the house.  My sister was inconsolable and there was a lot of emotion in the air.  Phil's body was still in my sisters house and rumours of what had taken place were spreading like wild fire.  The scene was awful like something of the TV, it just didn't seem real.  It was a terrible evening.  Many of us had lost a close friend who seemed to be on the road to recovery.

This blog is about inspiration and what influences us.  Phil was starting to influence the lives of others in a positive way. letting them know that if they worked hard they would be successful, but at the same time was clearly dealing with demons in his own head. These demons have left three children without a father.


Two days after Phil had died The Olympic torch arrived in England.  It was a reminder to me that I will be carrying the flame in a few weeks.  What it also reminded me of was the reason I was nominated, and that reason is because people feel I inspire children and help them make the right choices.  It reminded me that my work will never be done. I am not that special, I know so many people who do a similar job to myself and people who dedicate their lives to help others. There will always be people inspiring children to do the right thing but unfortunately there will also always be a minority influencing them to do the wrong thing.  The Olympics will hopefully inspire future generations to take up sports and sport will become a focus that will lead them on the a successful life.  Phil knew the dangers that were out there and joined the boxing club to ensure others didn't go down the same road he chose.

I am not sure where I am going with this blog.  Maybe I am hoping that by reading this people might make a decision that may help inspire someone they know to choose the right path.  Maybe I hope a drug user will read it and think twice before offering a youngster a spliff.  I wrote this because I am angry and upset that we have lost a friend who made the wrong choice once too often.

Rest in Peace Phillip Panadher